Pistol Packin’ Mary

The stories are filtering out, Mary Caferro is getting asked about her YES vote  on HB 280,IMG_8596 sponsored by her good friend Representative Randy Brodehl.  You may not know much about Randy, but he collects a subsidy for a hog farm in Oregon and bellies up to the trough himself to collect his two public employee pensions on top of that tax dollar sponsored pay as a legislator.  Now why would Caferro, the great champion of kids and the disabled, feel the need to pack her 38 Special into the Senate chambers for a hard day of pushing the green button on Republican sponsored bills?  Ready?  Safety.

You see, Mary is explaining, with her best puppy dog eyes, that she didn’t  feel safe down there on the Senate floor with all those school kids parading through the gallery above her.  You know, those same school kids who’s parents had to console them over their fears and tears of a school shooting happening at their own school one day.  But to heck with them, it’s legislators first, women and children later.  Have you wandered into the Capitol IMG_8595 while the Legislature is in session?  There are no fewer than three HPD officers, as many MHP officers assigned to guard the Governor and a handful of security guards.  And then there’s all those pesky cameras in every corner out in the open for all to see, and probably a few hidden to boot.  It’s also a fair bet that if you gave Randy a tap in the small of his back his illegally carried piece would go off and shoot him in the ass.  You’re probably covered Mary, but it’s a good play on your innocent support of more guns in public places.

If you want to test safety Mary, go spend a day in a school secretary’s chair at the front door of any school in Montana to see what that feels like.  The door opens and you’re the first person anyone sees with nothing between you and that open door.  Or how about just about any government office in any town, county or state office in Montana?  Angry tax payers, hunters with suspended licenses, an injured worker at his wits end, or maybe even someone who should be institutionalized for their own safety and that of the  public who lost that safe space.  Again, open door and there’s someone sitting in range and plain sight.  Heck, had the Governor not undone your wrong with his pen, it could even be a legislator, like you, with one hand on the door knob and the other raising a 44 magnum hand cannon.  Politicians don’t seem too stable these days.


Mary, here’s a bill suggestion if you manage to dredge what charm you have left to get out of this primary, how about another bill to protect legislators like yourself  and keep you plenty safe, before anyone else.  Instead of more guns in a public place, how about an infrastructure bill to put a bullet proof dome over the House and Senate chambers?  No doubt it’s a bill that your most paranoid Republican bed fellows can get behind, hell, you could even convince Tom Burnett to support this one.  It’s an absolute win!  Jobs to build it and jobs to clean it.  But above all else, you’ll be safe in your workplace where you’ve made your career once more.  We’ll deal with those teachers and school kids some other time.


‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’


Cross Eyed Mary


Cross eyed Mary goes jumping in again

This primary business is getting a little sticky in the Farris-Olsen/Caferro race. And well it should.  Olsen represents a demographic of future leaders and committed activists who have grown weary of the Boomers and their same old same old.  Meanwhile, cross eyed Mary has found her groove and is deep in it as she continues to present herself as the champion of those in need and the protector of all things related to the Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services.  Well, all things Human Services that is, that whole Public Health part is just more letters.

She signs no contract

So what of cross eyed Mary?  What’s the big deal?  Well, first there’s this problem of her character and whether she’s really who she would have us all believe she is.  Single parent, up with her boots straps and champion of the poor and disabled.  Those are all very fine qualities and to be that person also would assume integrity.  Let’s go back to the 2015 legislative session when Mary teamed up with Disability Rights of Montana to wipe out a few hundred middle class union jobs by shutting down a much needed state facility where clients could actually feel safe.  At that very same time cross eyed Mary was collecting her pieces of silver from AWARE and proclaimed NO conflict of interest.  But who gets to make that call?  In the world we live in today,  Cross eyed Mary gets to make that call and we should all just be ok with it.

But she always plays the game

But what does the average Joe think about it?  Seems like if some career politician stands to gain personally or professionally from some law they are trying to get passed that the average Joe or Jane might think to themselves ‘Well that ain’t right and it smells kind of funny too.’  But heck, maybe Joe and Jane don’t live in her district so who cares?  Cross eyed Mary is banking on the good folks who live in HD 81 not to care either.  But if Joe and Jane do live in HD 81 they should be wondering how much she cares about them since she doesn’t live in their district either and just wants another shot at more work for AWARE. Word has it that this time it’ll be Warm Springs Hospital.

She dines in Hampstead village, On expense accounted gruel

And then there’s her PR problem after losing the support of organized labor with just a couple of small exceptions, you know the ones who stand to gain from her reach across the isle.  Cross eyed Mary made her rounds to Hialeah Park and 6th Streets to kiss the rings some time ago and beg forgiveness. She was instead, and rightfully so, banished to the ends of her district.  Farris-Olsen has scored two key endorsements recently from AFSCME and the newly birthed 10,000 pound gorilla, the Montana Federation of Public Employees.  There was never a doubt that those two would swing in that direction given that privatization of public services is an absolute no-no for public employee unions.  After all, an injury to one is an injury to all. Unless, of course, you’re bedazzled in purple. Should Olsen prevail, and let’s all hope he does, the Montana Democratic Party may want to take note of these endorsements considering the lights glow in their office because of organized labor.

Hey, cross eyed Mary finds it hard to get along

Now give this a little thought. Cross Eyed Mary touts her long history of experience as a legislator, her understanding of budgets, her knowledge of human services and those less fortunate and above all else, her ability to reach across the isle.  Then riddle us this Cross Eyed Mary, if that’s all true, why do you spend your time bemoaning the damage done by the recent budget crisis in Montana instead of coming to the rescue with all that power and clout?  But hey, AWARE is coming out OK, again.

Hey, cross eyed Mary, oh baby, oh cross eyed Mary


‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’

The Koch Blockers

No, it’s not the title of a B movie about your teenagers who won’t get off the living room couch on a Saturday night after you and the wife have had a few martinis.  Nor is it a short story of the stresses of modern life and the toll on your libido .  It’s more an apt moniker for the Fabulous 14 Faculty at Montana State University who decided that money really can be dirty and there could be a price to pay in the end when you accept a wad of cash from the devil.  Or in this case, the devils: the Koch brothers.

Now if you don’t know who the Kochs are, then you are truly fortunate in your ignorance and should stop reading right now before you become tainted.  Charles and David Koch are the proverbial creepy uncles with candy in their pockets every time thevan[1] nieces and nephews come to visit.  And in this instance, those little ones digging deep into Koch pockets are cash strapped university campuses across the country who believe that because money is green it’s perfectly acceptable to put it in their mouths.  Honest folks, there are no strings attached, just cash that check.  Who wouldn’t trust the bankrollers of Citizens United?

Back to Montana State University, home of the Jake Jab’s School of Business and the Greg Gianforte ‘I’m running for Governor and would like a building named after me’ something school or building, or something.  Last week, and after nearly two years of debate in quiet corners of higher education, 14 faculty members said enough and ‘no’ we aren’t that desperate for cash on this campus.  Then again, it really was only 5.7 million.  Hell, Greg the Body Slammer dug deeper into his dirty pockets than that.  Don’t get lost in the irony that it was just two short years ago that this same sort of debate took place in the rare air of a Board of Regents meeting in Havre.  Fast forward just two years to Havre at the end of this May.  At least we won’t have to suffer the heart wrenching debate of those wiser than the rest of us, only to have them pop that candy into their greedy mouths after all.

There ought to be some kind of policy or guidelines damnit!  Isn’t that what the Regents proclaimed two years ago after they dried their tears?  Wasn’t Clay Christian and his high paid staff going to build some sideboards to help the most simple of us know what we should do when faced an indecent proposal like this?Well maybe not. Clearly it takes some folks with a deeper sense of morality to do that.  Don’t get too excited though, a two vote spread is a little like that old saying about ‘close’, it only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.  In this case, close means no shrapnel in your academic ass.  This time.

And as for  you ‘YES‘ voters, well, you’re just a bunch of Koch Sucklers.



‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’ body’s a part of.’