The Salt in His Tears

th0X183ESTThe whiskey has dried up, the thick steaks are all gone and the dust of a Special Session has settled.  The dramatic late nights of deal making have ended, even the scrambling of who gets all the glory for saving the day has waned.  But if you close your eyes and listen carefully during the dark of night, you’ll hear a whimper, perhaps the gentle weeping of some great hurt, some great loss.  If you’re feeling adventurous pull on your boots and venture out to follow the sound and find the origin of that sorrowful mouning.  Yes, it’s coming from the Montana State Fund building where a solitary light shines high up from a corner office on the third floor.

You see those tears belong to Lanny Hubbard and his well paid, highly dedicated and well scripted team of Vice Presidents at the Fund.  In case you missed out or were preoccupied with dread over another political family Thanksgiving, here’s what happened in cliffnote form.  65th Legislature leaves state in a shambles by not recognizing it needs money.  State budget becomes crisis.  Big Llew and Little Dan make deals.  Governor calls special session to enact said deals.  Senate Bill 4 becomes one of several revenue generating components of the Big and Little deal.  SB 4 establishes an investment management fee that charges for the ‘free’ investment services MSF has been receiving from the Board of Investments.  Hubbard sends in a crack team of lobbyist to wring hands and gnash teeth.  Crack team gives inaccurate information and dozes in the296223094_f1df82bef2_b[1] corner.  SB 4 becomes law.  Hubbard, who runs a quasi state agency and isn’t a team player, sues state.  Governor recognizes rogue MSF President and appoints new board members.  Board votes 5-2 to drop law suit.  Hubbard maintains composure and follows ‘wishes of the board’ (read ‘directive of the board’) and withdraws suit.  Management team gathers each night to wail and wallow the great mistreatment by both the Governor and Legislature.

Shouldn’t that be the end of the story?  Couldn’t it be? Please?  Not with good ol’ Lanny.  Nope.  Hubbard, the once deft player to the middle, may have finally overplayed his hand in covertly suggesting to the likes of Representative Greg Hertz that if he can’t sue, maybe some yet to be damaged policy holders could get their day in court.  Certainly this doesn’t play well to Hubbard’s ego given his penchant to be the front man, however, it could be salve to his wounds.  For the rest of us, we  can only hope he’s left his DNA on the legal documents to be filed.  Those fingerprints in anyone else’s world would be otherwise named ‘insubordination’- a big word for ‘Lanny isn’t carrying out the wishes of his employer and now it’s time to pack up his office’.

So what’s left?  Well, policy holders with State Fund, who have no where else to go, are wondering why there is over a BILLION dollars in reserves, a reserve filled by their high premiums.  Injured workers wonder why they have to fight for a decent benefit when there are over a BILLION dollars in reserves, yet their own bank accounts are empty.  The Governor and the Legislative body are wondering how much deeper they can get into that BILLION plus dollars without affecting policy holders or injured workers.  Montana citizens are Montana-State-Fund-2[1]wondering what kind of government agency can have over a BILLION dollars to brag about.  State Fund employees are wondering how soon the weight of over a BILLION dollars will bring the Taj MaHubbard Building down on their heads.  And Victory Insurance, with it’s own new lobbying firm, is wondering how much longer it will have to bide it’s time before it can get access to over a BILLION dollars through privatization of the Fund.

And maybe, just maybe, the Montana State Fund Board is wondering how quickly they can hand Hubbard his golden parachute and salvage what’s left of a severely damaged image.  Then again, if Hubbard goes where will the tears come from to fill the water feature in his legacy shrine in downtown Helena?

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And the award goes to

Imagine the myriad of reactions recently when the Montana Professional Teaching MelissaRomano1HR[1]Foundation, aka MEA-MFT, named Melissa Romano the 2018 Teacher of the Year.  Say what?!?!  Melissa came closer than any other 2016 “tier b” Democratic candidate of winning her statewide race against now superintendent of public instruction Else Arntzen.  Admittedly with more than a fair amount of financial support from the National Education Association and American Federation of Teachers and why not since she was the MEA-MFT heir apparent to the legacy of Nancy Keenan, Linda McCulloch, and Denise Juneau.

She is the  2012 recipient of the Presidential Award for Excellence in Mathematics and Science Teaching, a contributor to Better Lesson where her math lessons are shared on a national platform, as well as running to represent the residents of Montana’s Senate District 41 in 2018.  Considering her teaching vitae it isn’t a stretch to see why she was named Teacher of the Year by the MPTF.  But dadgumit, there’s that little political tickler out there – Eric Feaver, president of MEA-MFT (aka “the teachers union”) as well as head of the Montana Professional Teaching Foundation.  Uh oh!  Hey Eric…you got some explaining to do!

Eric.imageIn the right circles Eric Feaver, we’ll call him “the tickler”, is responsible for everything from the death of Christ to global warming.  Not bad for a transplanted Okie who coincidently didn’t burn his draft card down at the courthouse ala Merle Haggard.  Anyone who sees machinations from “the tickler” behind Melissa’s award needs to stay away from the railroad tracks because “stupid is as stupid does.”  No one with any political savvy will claim this helps Melissa in her 2018 bid for the state senate or for a potential 2020 re-match with Elsie.elsie_200p

Yeah, there’s bad blood between Feaver (Elsie’s deplorable voting record) and Arntzen – “I’m taking back the TOY and making it great again‘ – but “the tickler” ain’t stupid.  However, given the current political climate in Montana and pending Trump Armageddon, it shall be shouted from the mountains to the prairie that “the tickler” is trying to “gild his lily” in the hopes of burnishing her reputation for future political office.  Is that a double entendre?  Sorry Melissa!

The interesting story will be listening to the “right” Republicans hammer on Feaver, Romano, Bullock, and MEA-MFT that this is proof positive of nepotism, cronyism, and cubism within the ranks of the Democratic Party.  So let’s not forget that Greg Gianforte kicked off his gubernatorial campaign by giving $8 million to Montana State University for the Gianforte School of Computing and wrapped it up with the body slam of a left leaning reporter. Now he’s Montana’s man in the House of Representatives poised with pick, shovel, and sump pump to drain the swamp.  Makes Melissa’s TOY award seem rather tame.  Maybe she can find a right leaning reporter to rough up…who knows “Governor” Romano?!?

What I hope doesn’t get lost in all the political scuffling is the fact that Melissa Romano is an excellent teacher and deserving of this award regardless if she has political aspirations or not.  After all this is ‘Merica and it’s your right to stand or take a knee.

T-Bone Slim – “Whenever you find injustice, the proper form of politeness is attack.”

Guest Post: Sit, Stand, Kneel

I don’t care what you do. I’m a veteran and I don’t care what you do during the national anthem at the beginning of an overpriced and over rated sports event. And here’s why.

Twenty five years ago I took an oath to defend the Constitution and the President from both foreign and domestic enemies. I raised my right hand and fumbled through the words k rockwith a platoon of 40 other freshly shaved heads. I understood the Constitution and I understood the First Amendment. My middle class high school had taught me well and I’d recited the pledge of allegiance to the wall more times than I’d been laid before heading off to boot camp.  I didn’t sign up for the love of country or the flag.  I signed up because there were no jobs, the factories were all gone.  College was too expensive, I wanted out of middle America for a while and I wanted adventure.  It was my escape.  I got out.  And I got far more than I ever imagined in the way of adventure, so much so I’d like to give a lot of it back for a decent night’s sleep.

So about that oath.  I took my oath and that oath says: ‘…that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same;…’ Then the rest prattles on about the President american-flag-02[1]and officers, both of which most enlisted troops either despise or mock at every opportunity.  Regardless, that oath is sworn to the Constitution first.  Faith and allegiance are given before life and limb to the President or some butter bars, boot Lt. I learned quickly that by enlisting I had given up my right to freedom of expression for the next decade, but that I’d maintained my right to bear arms, day in and day out.  After 12 years I turned in my arms and picked up my freedom of speech again.  For my purposes here, my freedom of expression.

Back to football.  I’m insulted that my service and the life and death of many like me has become a shield of the phony patriots who either never took the oath or have forgotten it’s core purpose- the Constitution.  Not one of my brothers or sisters in arms died for a flag or a poorly written and hard to sing patriotic song.   My brothers and I didn’t stay on the line to fight for a flag. We stayed on the line for each other;  the guy on the right and the guy on the left. We would have stayed on the line for the woman on either side as well.   And get ready for this, we stayed on the line for that guy no one was really sure about but was a hell of soldier, even though he was transgender.  We didn’t and don’t care.  We lived and died for each other and that’s all we care about to this day.

So to say that putting your hand over your heart and singing along while you hope your beer doesn’t get spilled before the song is over is a sign of respect to me is bullshit.  If you want to respect me, if you want to respect us then take a knee in our honor and have faith in the Constitution and ‘freedom of speech’ that we defended.  Well, we weren’t really defending the Constitution.  Lately, I’m more convinced we were defending some corporation’s right to make a lot of money because war is profitable and when the trumpets sound, the poor boys must dance.  Sorry, sidetracked.  I don’t care if some overpaid brutes take a knee.  It’s their right and I do care about that.

They’re standing up, well in this case taking a knee, for what they believe in and that’s   pretty damned American to me.  And just as they have the right to express themselves, sotrump-flag[1] do you.  All I ask is that you don’t use me as your patriotic shield and rubber battle sword.  One of the many things I’ve learned over the years and from my time in the service is that those who yell the loudest about the flag are the last to the line and the first to piss themselves when the shit comes in.

If you want to be offended by something in my honor, be offended at an underfunded, poorly administered, and poorly staffed VA health care system.  Be offended by the fact that there is such a thing as a ‘homeless veteran’.  Channel that anger to stop 22 veterans from committing suicide each day.  Find a cause to show a vet you actually give a shit about us instead of showing us your warrior skills on Facebook.  Otherwise, and I mean this with all due respect for your rights, shut the fuck up.

Finally, when you’re claiming you’re honoring the troops who have both served and died by standing for the national anthem, take a trip to any military base and watch what happens during morning and evening colors.  You’ve never seen soldiers move so quickly as they do when they are trying to find cover during colors to avoid having to stand at attention for two minutes.

A Modern Day GI Joe

The Fat Man Has Sung

Image[1]We’ve all had the good fortune of reading Senator Llew Jones’s editorial as it’s traveled across Montana in the company rags.  Llew is all set to ‘tighten the government’s purse strings’ in the fashion he already started with his now executed SB 261.  And to read his words as he wrote them you would think this all just came to be in the last few months.  Jones seems to have a short view of history, not even back to 2005 when he first plopped down into a creaky wooden chair in the House chambers for the first time.  But it’s not uncommon for legislators to shrug off sessions they weren’t a part of when it suits their needs.  In this case, it was just one session before in 2003 that Jones should be taking into consideration.

If you were to believe his view of Montana you’d believe that most Montanan’s are out wrangling cattle, raising crops or pulling up the shades on the general store on Main Street.  Certainly, the commodities have suffered and there is no doubt the stability of those markets does have an impact on Montana’s economy.  It’s also important to remember that Montana has a diverse economy that is doing better than Jones would have you believe.  The majority of Montanan’s live in far more urban areas of the state than Conrad.  In fact, it’s safe to say that most Montanan’s primary contact with wheat and beef is when they take a bite out of a cheeseburger.

Those forms of revenue that Jones laid out do indeed matter.  However, there is another and more long term story playing out that Jones and his gang are casually ignoring.  A guest post in Montana Cowgirl spells out the history of what Jones neglects to mention or even acknowledge.  Reductions in business taxes and personal income taxes of the highest earners has finally come home to roost.  Back then in 2003 even former budget director and long time legislator Dave Lewis called it a ‘black hole’ and coming from a guy like Lewis, that’s saying something.

So back to Big Llew.  His last few sessions have been a good run for him with plenty of thick steaks and whiskey.  He’s built himself a fine perch in the political arena of

FightClub_201Pyxurz[1]

I’m fuckin’ Llew!

Montana.  For the moderates, he’s in the lead and kept close by the far right.  For the not so far left he’s obviously gained their trust and confidence.  If you don’t believe that only have a look at the final House vote of his now famed and session ending SB 261.  But don’t be too harsh on the D’s, it was their way home.  And then there’s organized labor who see him as their ‘go to guy’ to help move legislation and carry a little water.  In some circles he’s even been called a ‘colossus’. The same colossus who now encourages the Governor to have union members pack up their desks and ultimately stop paying dues.

Jones’s SB 261 was merely a precursor to where we have landed today with far deeper budget cuts that will not just end the careers and livelihoods of state employees butwhite-pat-on-the-head-men-s-tees-men-s-t-shirt[1] campus, county and city workers as well.  When Jones talks about  a ‘…main street businessman who’s customers will have little money to spend…’ he is also referring to the spending power of those now out of work government folks.  But take heart you government workers, Jones and his ilk know you are ‘good people hired to do a job’.  Feel better?

If you’ve spent even a small amount of time around Big Llew during his now 12 years in the Legislature then you’ve heard him talk about ‘tightening our belts’ more than once.  Perhaps this helps redefine irony yet again: A 350 pound middle aged white man in suspenders lecturing about belt tightening.  Go figure.

King Henry VIII eating

TGTJ

‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’

Does This Ass Make My City Look Stupid?

The Billings mayoral race is generating some attention lately with ballots out in the mail to narrow the field down to the final two candidates on a November 7 ballot.  ‘Mayor of Billings’ may sound like a big deal with the title, an office and an annual salary of less than $10,000 year.  OK, so maybe it’s more presence than influence considering the City has a City Manager and a City Council.  It’s not like it’s Missoula and taking down Mountain Water or even Helena with Jim Smith who has…wait, what does Jim Smith do?  Back to Billings, it is Montana’s largest city after all.

One candidate in particular has big plans for the office and believes he’s got the assmanleadership experience to make that happen.  Termed out Representative Jeff Essmann is spending a lot of time and a lot of money in his efforts to land a new job in government, albeit elected, but still on the dole.  Essman has gone so far as to announce that he will ‘…get to work on infrastructure projects while avoiding new taxes.’  Think about that, which old taxes will be used and which services of the City of Billings will no longer be offered. Add to that Essmann’s failure to exert his ‘leadership’ to increase revenues or pass an infrastructure bill in not one session, but two.  Hell, let’s go all the way back to his entrance into the legislature in 2005.

So on that 2017 session that Essmann used his experience in, Essmann would proudly say the feather in his cap was blocking legislation that would have allowed counties to save tens of thousands of dollars by using a mail ballot in a special election.  A special election that ultimately sent his good friend, and now convicted body slammer, Greg Gianforte to Congress.  Aside from that, Essmann snuck away from his duties at the Capitol for a few days to watch his hero, Donald Trump, take the oath as President.  Oh and he spends a lot of time on twitter simply retweeting with the occasional snarky comment.  He’s very good at it.  The best.  Really.

FullSizeRender (1)If you were to believe Essmann’s own account of his leadership skills you would believe he not only kept his own party intact, but that he also reached across the isle constantly to move important legislation that positively impacts Montana.  If you were to believe that you would be wrong.  State Senator Jen Gross called Essmann out for his failures in the 2017 session with her recent letter in the Billings Gazette.  Then came an odd tweet exchange with former Representative Mike Miller who clearly shows no support or confidence in Essmann.  Then again, it’s a little dicey to take Miller’s word for it, given his conviction for campaign practices, to include being banned from running for office.

Gross didn’t come right out and say it, but come on Billings, you can do better than this.Essmann   appears to be one of those termed out legislators who desperately needs a place to land.  Given his career of being in the way, he doesn’t know the meaning of ‘get out of the way’ or how to make a graceful exit.  Then again, it could be that Essmann is in search of another government health plan now that he’ll get kicked off the state health insurance plan. At least he’ll get to keep his government pension with a defined benefit.  Wait!  Does that make Essmann a socialist?

mayberryTGTJ

‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’

 

While you were sleeping…

Or debating the civil war…or waiting for rain…or posting eclipse selfies…the Montana Department of Labor and Industry has been quietly sidling through rural Montana closing Job Service offices.  Tuesday of this week employees got the ax in Lewistown. closed-out-of-business[1] From there it was off to Anaconda, Dillon and Hamilton for the final blow.  Earlier this year DLI closed offices in Livingston, Shelby and Glasgow.  And while the Montana Historical Society and State Library have managed to keep the attention of the press with their ‘whining’, according to Representative Nancy Balance, there has yet to be a drop of ink for these closings, layoffs and loss of services to rural Montana.  Let alone a tear from the Governor or Commissioner of Labor.

So what of it?  Are the closures and loss of some 40 jobs the result of the session ending bipartisan Senate Bill 261 or girding for the cuts to come from the Throne of Trump?  It’s hard to say at this point given that there have been no press releases or official statements made by anyone, anywhere.  Not a peep.  For an administration that so enjoys touting Main Street Montana and Montana Values, there doesn’t seem to be much concern or much support for rural main street now or that Montana value of being open and honest about what’s happening.  You might just wonder if  something is hiding in all of this smoke.

‘Government should operate like private business.’ In this case, government is doing just that.  Swooping into small Montana towns with a crack team of well paid administrators BFPAN0[1]handing out pink slips then off to the next small town to do more of the same.  Of course driving the company car and dining on the company dime along the way.  Those folks appeared sad faced and empathetic then hit the road, tires spinning and gravel flying. And speaking of those managers, it would appear that these closures don’t involve a single top dollar administrator or any jobs in the beehives of Helena.  Life and paydays go on for the protected and imbedded in the Capitol City.

Speaking of life going on, it would seem that the closings come at a coincidental time withsave-yourself[1] Commissioner of Labor Pam Bucy leaving for a new opportunity with well know lobbyist and quiet voice of the Republican Party, Mark Taylor.  Could it be she checked the horizon, saw the iceberg and abandoned ship quickly?  Or is it just the universe in motion.  Either way she’s landed in a nice soft spot while her former employees head home to break the news to the family and plant a ‘For Sale’ sign in the front yard.

TGTJ

‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’

 

“Squirrel!”

Confederate_fountainOr in this case “Fountain!”  While the state burns through the last of the fire fund progressive Democrats, young and old in Helena, find themselves twitter-pated  over the recent city commission decision to remove the Confederate Fountain from Hill Park.  “Look at us we’re just like the big city folk back east!”  Alt-right, alt-left, neo-liberal, neo-nazi, fascist, Christ0fascist all spell the same thing a moribund center that has still not reached the point of telling them ALL to sit down and shut the hell up!  But it’s a win because the city just shut the water off to it yesterday.  Who’s your daddy now…well it ain’t Jeff Davis cuz us paragons of social justice and political correctness are on the job.

Bullock

 

 

 

And floating amongst the particulates of the ash filled skies, we have a governor who appears to be embracing the notion that he is a viable 2020 presidential candidate who is tweeting about the removal of the obnoxious monument in Helena and the glaring lack of leadership on the national level as once again our nation wrestles with the sins of our past.  Meanwhile, this week marks the end of the careers of a number of state employees who have fallen victim to the cuts in SB 261.  Lack of leadership perhaps…or…squirrel

But alas the fountain of “hate and racism” that most had no idea existed at all will be erased from the Helena landscape.  The skies will open up, the rain will come down, the fires will be extinguished, and there will be no more hungry children in the world because the fountain will be gone.

T-Bone Slim – “Wherever you find injustice, the proper form of politeness is attack.”

 

 

 

 

Burnin’ Down the House

 

It’s summer and the skies are smoky.  And so too appear to be the brains of some Democratic Party players.  In checking the inbox for the tips this week there appeared an IMG_7289email thread titled ‘Fire Season’ launched by party Executive Director Keenan as an announcement that the party will be sending a check to aid those suffering from the Lodgepole Fire Complex.  Wise move to be sure and wise to also be aware that it likely won’t do any good in swaying voters.  Bottom line, in times like this we are all Montanans and this is what we do for each other regardless of the color of our votes in November.

Well done, Nancy.  And then comes the pettiness of the party old timers.  Long time obstructionist Pat Mishcel gives his two cents of bitterness and is supported by MEA-MFT staffer Maggie Copeland with her own vile response.  Ooppss!  But not as a staffer.  (Note the time stamps:  it only took her boss, Eric Feaver, three minutes to call her.)

email

It’s a strange sentiment from folks who proclaim themselves as leaders in the ‘People’s Party’ and points to a symptom of the cancer within the party.  In case anyone hasn’t notice, Montana’s democrats are on the losing end these days and the time for change has come.  That change should involve weeding out the likes of these two.  While mostrun_out_of_town_on_a_rail[1] are out there trying to make the party shine, the Pat’s and Maggie’s of the party are busy hitting ‘reply all’ to spew their vitriol.  No matter how small or how contained this moment was, it is not a proud moment by any means and belongs to all of the leaders within the party.

And to Maggie and Pat, you sound an awful lot like a certain President.  Could it be that at night you pull a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat out from under your bed and pull it down tight on your head with a smile as you drift off to sleep?

TGTJ

‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’

 

Triggers to the left of me , triggers to the right…

There’s been some heat in the news lately about “triggers“, “state fire fund“, “healthcare“, “Montana State Library“, “Montana Historical Society“, and the demon that spawned it all Senate Bill 261.  It seems appropriate as Montana valleys fill with the smoke from forest fires that we take some time to contemplate how this austerity measure came into being and the likelihood it will leave a swath of scorched earth in its wake. Rumblings from around the capitol indicate that before the end of August the revenue shortfall will be such that cuts will extend into tier four budget cuts.  Below is a list of the proposed cuts as outlined in the bill as well as the proposed revenue triggers that will automatically implement the budget reductions.

Senate Bill 261 triggers

The devil’s bargain

As the fallout begins with the pending cuts to services and layoffs of state employees, there is considerable head scratching, not much finger pointing, and plenty of blame to go around.  Regardless of what you read or hear, this was a bipartisan bill that passed the senate and house by wide margins before Governor Bullock signed it into law.   Follow the links and truth will shine a light on naysayers and aye-sayers alike.  Say that three times fast!

The chief architects, however, Senator Llew Jones (R-Conrad) and state budget director

Dan Villa (aka Pancho and Lefty) have managed to fly under the turbulence created by their backroom deal.  Look as you might, but try as you might, you won’t find the smokin’ gun because these savvy individuals know how to cover their back trail; they’ve had three sessions to hone their partnership and bring on board just enough “tools”, right and left, to make the whole thing work.  As chair of the senate finance and claims committee, Jones carriers a lot of weight when it comes to the budget and unlike his counterpart, chair Nancy Ballance of House Appropriations, he knows how to work his caucus.

 

Frank_Little_cartoon

Psst! You tell them the Republicans are to blame and I’ll say it’s the Democrats.

Obviously the leadership on both sides of the aisle were aware of the deal on SB 261,  to deliver a satisfactory budget that Governor Bullock would sign negating the possibility of a special session.  This despite the disparity between revenue estimates from the governor’s budget office and the legislative fiscal division.  Equally confusing, or not, was the willingness of Governor Bullock and budget director Villa to accept the higher estimate from LFD.  When has that ever happened…NEVER!  Can you smell the brimstone now or is it sausage making?  Either way, we ended up with triggers to the left, triggers to the right, and a number of innocent bystanders who will actually feel the pinch from the loss of services and employment.

But perhaps the most irritating aspect of the budget deal is the rising tide of voices bemoaning the coming cuts.  The rending of cloth and wearing of sackcloth and ashes from some Democrats and a pithy comment from Conrad, “government has to learn to live within its means.”  Pandering to the small government masses and buttressing one of the three pillars of conservatism.  And then fires breakout in Garfield County and grow to over 250,000 acres.  Oops!  Failure

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently a 90 day sessions stretches the ability of some of our citizen legislators to read, comprehend, and debate the implications of the legislation they vote on.   It just goes to show you, if you wait long enough, obfuscate a little, finish it off with a beguiling smile and a third round infrastructure bill double cross, doodoo gets overlooked until some poor rube steps in it.  CRAP!

guy_stepping_in_some_doo_doo_by_jfleegs-d38w3lw

T-Bone Slim – “Wherever you find injustice, the proper form of politeness is attack.”

Petra Academy to End Course

steele_george3Bozeman’s Petra Academy announced today that it would be ending one of its most popular courses for the last ten years running.  A spokesperson from the academy made public that it would regretfully close out ‘MMA: A Path To The WWE’.  ‘We’ll be losing our instructor in one way or another.  Mr. Gianforte will be in one of two places next fall when the course would normally be offered.  We aren’t sure if he will be taking his seat in Congress or serving a maximum six month jail sentence for misdemeanor assault.’

Gianforte savagely attacked a journalist after being asked a routine question about the CBO’s report on the Trump health care plan.  To no one’s surprise Gianforte was elected as Montana’s lone Congressman the next day.  Jail time is unlikely given his relationship to the Gallatin County Attorney, local Sheriff and the fact that he donated $500,000 to Gallatin County for a new detention facility, ironically named ‘The Greg And Susan Gianforte Center for Redemption and Rehabilitation.’

According to the statement ‘He just had a way of teaching that really showed our students how to best use his techniques of picking out the smallest and most meek individual and then going from a dull blank stare to explosive rage without legitimate provocation.  Our larger and less social students, particularly our more angry boys,  gravitated to his course and excelled with practice.  While we did experience a number of injuries, we believe that was minor compared to the success of our students.’

Petra, on Gianforte’s recommendation, will be adding a new course that will deviate from the physical education program.  ‘Satanic Rituals in the Practice of Montana Law and Campaign Practices’ will be taught by the disgraced former Montana legislator and Gianforte attorney Artnosferatu-eine-symphonie-des-grauens-boat-scene-count-orlok-max-schreck-vampire-german-expressionism-dracula-classic-review-600x300 Wittich.  ‘Art is incredibly adept at twisting the law and anyone’s words to his own advantage and defense.  Our students have a lot to learn from him and our greatest hope is that Mr. Gianforte’s most loyal students will learn as much in this course and go on to practice law or better yet combine both teachings to become narcissistic political figures as well.’ said the spokesperson.

TGTJ

‘Maybe all men got one big soul ever’body’s a part of.’